This is, by far, one of the best quotations that has ever entered my life. Or perhaps we make deep connections with quotes like this one because they come into our life with perfect timing, when their message is needed the most.
Yes, I think the latter is true.
I found this quote (or this quote found me?) at a time when I needed it desperately. Since then, I have been proactively trying to live its message: To love much, to live gently, and to gracefully let go of what is not mine. Does it sound easier said then done? Because it is.
'Love much' has always come fairly easily to me, I think having a huge capacity for love comes easily to most people (whether they utilize it is a different story entirely). The part I need to work on (the part most people need to work on) is in remembering to love even when you're feeling cross, even when someone owes you an apology, even when you are irritated or annoyed. After all, who am I to judge who deserves or doesn't deserve my love- it is not my place to say that someone [who has wronged me] is no longer worthy of my love! Of course, I'm not saying that we should keep tumultuous relationships in our lives or we should continue to allow others to hurt us- all I'm suggesting is that despite their behavior, you can still show love. Even if you let these people go from your life because they are no longer serving you, you can still send them off with love instead of hate.
Living gently. What exactly does it mean to "live gently"? Well I can only tell you what it means to me. If I had to explain in in 3 simple steps it would go something like this:
1. Start by being gentle with yourself. For me this meant changing my diet entirely so that I was nurturing my body instead of poisoning it. It means being aware of your thoughts and not allowing your mind to speak badly of you. I have overheard many of the women in my life talk so poorly about themselves- "I look so fat", " I make such stupid choices", "I hate my nose" etc. My basic rule of thumb is- If you wouldn't say it to a dear friend/loved one, then don't say it to yourself. So when you look in the mirror and the destructive thoughts begin, stop yourself and remember "If I wouldn't say these things to my best friend or a family member, I'm certainly not going to say them to myself". Being gentle with yourself also entails making time for yourself. Whether it's reading a book that is collecting dust at your bedside, or making time to meditate, or perhaps taking a bath at the end of a long day. You absolutely need to make time for you. You will not be able to help others [happily] if you are not helping yourself first. Nurture your mind, nurture your body, and nurture your soul.
2. In addition to being gentle with yourself, living gently also means being gentle with others. Listen more and talk less. Be less reactive. When someone is speaking listen to them, don't start preparing your response in your head while they are talking, because then you are not truly listening and hearing their thoughts/feelings. Slow down. Listen. Be Patient. Be gentle with others.
3. And lastly, living gently also means taking care of the world around you. Spend time in nature and be grateful for this big beautiful world. Take a deep breath of fresh smog air and be gentle with this world we're living in. Volunteer when you can, clean up litter when you see it, plant some flowers or take care of a garden. These small contributions to the world will offer a sense of peace and satisfaction to your life.
So those are the 3 steps towards living gently that I have implemented into my life and it has drastically changed me for the better.
The hardest portion of this equation, however, is the last part. To gracefully let go of that which is not ours to keep. So poetically stated. But really, it's asking for a whole lot. If I were to look back on the times in my life where I lost something that I loved/needed/wanted deeply- Let me tell you, I handled it with anything but grace. My coping methods were far from graceful, more on the side of crazy and hysterical. But this quote inspired me to try something different. (Of course it wasn't entirely due to this quote, I also had various "self-help" books trying to convey the same message to me as well). The point was simple though- Don't allow your world to come crumbling down over the loss of something that was never meant to be yours for the keeping (ie a boyfriend, a pet, a car, a job, etc). Instead, give thanks for the wonderful blessings the thing did bring to your life, be happy for the period of time that you did have it, and remember that there are many more wonderful things on the horizon for you. You need only ask for them. (We'll get into my strong belief in the #LawOfAttraction some other time).
Of course, you can't just tell yourself "I'm not going to get upset over this" or "I'm not going to feel sad about that". You cannot deny feelings that your body is experiencing. I wish it could be that easy. But with time and practice, what you can do is overcome these periods of grief/sadness/disappoint much quicker and more gracefully. The coping method I utilize now is to put a set time limit on my negative emotions- when something has got me feeling down I tell myself "You have 24 hours. Feel it, grieve it, cry about it. But when the 24 hours are up you are done. You are moving on. You are focusing your time and attention on all the WONDERFUL things in your life instead." And that's when I revert back to blog entry #1, where giving thanks for EVERYTHING is of the essence.
Very well said!
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